A pat on my back

Sometimes, I think we moms have to give ourselves credit for doing things right -- little things, big things, they're all important.

This morning was one such moment for me. Last night, Maggie had trouble falling asleep, and her fatigue showed today; every wrong thing that happened in her world upset her. A Cheerio fell on the floor ... tears. I wouldn't let her take 12 stuffed animals in the car ... tears. The car seat straps felt too tight ... tears. So when the small blanket in which she'd wrapped her "sick" stuffed Kitty fell to the car floor, that was it. She was pushed over the edge, screaming and crying hysterically. Not even my groping and flailing and eventual blanket retrieval made any difference; by then she was too far gone to be consoled, and she only cried harder at her inability to get the blanket exactly as it had been before -- with Kitty's arms folded on her stomach under the blanket and her feet fully covered.

A lot of possible solutions were running through my head as I turned into the church/preschool parking lot while listening to Maggie scream. I could have screamed back: This is RIDICULOUS... you HAVE to go to school. STOP CRYING!! I could have turned around and gone home: She's too upset to have a good day at school anyway. I could have raced to the drop-off line as fast as possible: Let someone else deal with her. But none of those seemed like good options -- not for Maggie nor for me. I didn't want her sobbing hysterically, backing up the drop-off line or traumatized as the preschool workers pried her out of my car, nor did I want to spend the next three hours with a whiny, upset child.

So I pulled aside to the far edge of the parking lot. I slammed the car into 'park' and unbuckled Maggie from her seat. Calmly (repeating to myself "stay calm" all the while), I asked if she wanted me to try to fix Kitty's blanket. She nodded, and I convinced her to buckle Bitty Baby in the car seat while I completed Operation Blanket Correction. By the time her doll was snugly in Maggie's car seat, I had wrapped the blanket tightly around Kitty, and Maggie was happy to sit in the front seat with Kitty lying flat in her lap as we made our way to the drop-off line.

When we finally got to the building, there were about five other cars in front of us ... which was a very good thing. This gave Maggie time to calm down even more, and when it was her turn to get out of the car, she had dried her face, wiped her nose, and buckled Kitty into the front seat belt. She got out of the car, happily telling Mrs. Holly all about how Kitty was sick and she wanted to take her to the hospital but Mommy was going to watch her while Maggie was in school.

I don't claim to do everything right when it comes to parenting -- not even close! But today, I did at least one thing right. Those five extra minutes I spent on the edge of the parking lot with Maggie made a huge difference ... for her and for me.