Wit & Wisdom, week of July 10

Here is Maggie's latest wit and wisdom, a collection of new or funny things she's said lately. New words or phrases are in italics.

• "We're going to distract you so you won't have to be so boring. You can go from the boringness to the fun part."


• Maggie loves helping me make my coffee, and on Saturday morning she asked, "Can I pour the coffee syrup in the cup?" (She was talking about coffeemate.)
  
• I was explaining to her why she wasn't allowed to read the new American Girl catalog in the dark at bedtime, and she wanted to know in detail why it was bad for her eyes. I really have no idea, but I told her it would make them work too hard and could strain them, which might mean over time they wouldn't work as well. "Oh," she answered. "Because the batteries would wear down?"


• While eating lunch one day, I said something along the lines of "Here, eat another bite"; she grabbed something different from her plate and said, "OK, but I need this one as well."


• She's already super excited about our trip to Disneyworld, which isn't until Feb. 2010. One night during snuggle time, she asked me if I'd ever been, and when I told her yes, the following conversation ensued:
  Maggie: Did you take an airplane or a car to get there?
  me: Actually, both. The first time I went, I was with Grandma, Pop, and Uncle David, and we took an airplane. The second time was with some college friends, and we drove a car.
  Maggie: Which friends? Who did you go with in the car?
  me: Well, there was a big group of us, and I don't even talk to most of them anymore.
  Maggie: Well, that's kind of saddish. [long pause] What were there names?
  me: Let's see. Dee Dee and John went, and then there was another girl, another guy, and two more girls if I remember right.
  Maggie: Ricardo? Was Ricardo there?
  (I have no idea who Ricardo is!!)


• When Maggie uses disrespectful language or talks back to Bobby or me, her punishment is a small dab of hot sauce on her tongue. On Thursday, her behavior necessitated hot sauce, and she immediately started crying/negotating. At one point, she cried, "I wish I were Rebekah or Heidi!" When I asked her why, she said, "Because they don't have the hot sauce rule!" I reminded her that Heidi gets soap in her mouth as punishment for lying, and Maggie quickly said: "Oh. Well then I don't want to be Heidi."